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Hope You Get To Heaven Before The Devil Knows You're Dead

by Dear Noel

You say you need clarity. Salvation or exemption, which ever comes first. And I know you’re pinning me with the execution, but I’ll follow you to the depths of the ocean. It wont be long. So put your best dress on we’re gonna dance, dance, dance amongst the ones who’ve done us wrong, you know. I’ve got a six shooter tango and a ballroom floor, now its make or break. You say you need time to breathe, but R.L. Stine would be jealous of the goosebumps you’re reading on my arm. It’s time for a showdown theres no backing down, it wont be long. The fireworks that are lighting up this room are shining. They’re bleeding red. As the spot light shines on us their guts are spilling and muttering words that these halls have never heard before.
Seasons come and seasons go. Seasons change and leave an emptiness inside, especially winter. Bare naked trees, gray gloomy skies, so cold outside. It seems to cut right through me, like and ice-like knife. Spring time, something new, takes away the emptiness of winter. Not just for the beauty of it all. All the way she makes me feel like any thing is possible. Audrey Hepburns invited you to dine with her for breakfast. The Christmas decorations have stayed up all year. When in years past I remember warm parades. It’s misleading to keep those holiday cards on the wall, but that’s the most that you can do when you don’t hear the churchbells ring. If its just as easy to wait, it must be just as easy to hesitate. I’ve made winter feel so long, now I really need you.
Jets to Carolina, just to see the sunrise, 4 A.M. As busy as it was, O’hare has never seemed so lonely. I have to get away, to save me from these city talks of you, so I can feel better. I’m not a frequent flyer but he frequents your apartment and it kills me. My darling queen, your majesty, you take my breath away. But I would be a fool to keep rolling out the crimson carpet inviting you to deceive me. And I tried so hard, but you don’t even notice me. I hope your boy is treating you well. Theres no plane to take me far enough to escape these thoughts, because no matter what I’ll just be next in line. I will always be next in line. Jets to Carolina, at least it will be warm there. And dying for a chance to finally feel because as of late I’m numb to all your actions. I’ll be praying for you with false hopes that you’ll just reconcider and call me home. But for now I’ll be with Carolina because she gets me through those cold Chicago nights.
Hold your tongue, the damage is done. Save your lies for the cowboys who like girls that don’t say that they are riding other horses. But those horses should be tied to your limbs and running from Kansas, in four different directions, so your heart can be spilled for the first time in ages. I have become figuratively belligerent from biting my tongue so hard. You never gave me a sign, so heres a sign of my own “watch for falling houses”. Go ahead and sing for your requiem of punchlines, I love it, I invite it. (I’m not backing down, baby don’t make a sound. Did you think revenge was overrated?) Don’t compulsively poison my ears. I’ll crack a smile, hold you hostage and sever your fingers so the next victim won’t be satisfied when you try to get fresh with him under your covers. Are you so blind that you can’t see what you’re doing? I’ll take a drill to those beautiful eyes so you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. Don’t let anybody tell you that you don’t have a brain. You were smart enough to know that you should not explain your lack of courage to admit that you don’t have a heart. Now I’ll treat you like a leper and keep my distance as you fall apart.
Don’t base my character off fictional novels. Not even the greatest of literary figures could capture my composure. Tonight my plot you won’t see coming, surprise ending. I hope Shakespeare would find genius what’s behind this bright veneer. “Let’s take our time” she said “to make things right”. I purposely said that I would this time, knowing my intentions are devious inside. These sticks and stones were meant to make you hurt tonight. Please don’t make plans for days to come it’s temporary. I killed this Mocking Bird so long ago, I’ll be gone one morning. There’ll be nothing left for you, except a letter torn in two that says, “you have just been used, and I’m not sorry”. Fair thee well I’ll be fine, I hope you make it through this life. You’ll have to kiss yourself goodnight all alone.
These days are far from ordinary. You can’t fall asleep without watching her first. Hidden in secrecy, her silhouette tells the story. Til death do you part is the name of the game, you found out she’s trading in on your name. she’s marked the wedding photographs by faking her smile. These days are far from ordinary. You sleep with the light on, the questions are haunting. “Have I done something wrong? Has she done this before to all the other boys?” you’re dying to ask her it’s a power of will. Your heads on her contract. It’s now kiss and kill. So pour the wine and toast to another night. Bear your arms. Don’t take any chances. This is your salvation. Bear your arms. She needs to be silenced. Let’s picture the setting. What will it be? Is it her or you with the wrench in the study? You’ve nicknamed her scarlet, so do us all a favor. Catch her off guard in the dining room with the revolver.




released January 25, 2010


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