1. |
In The Atlas Cedars
03:12
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"In The Atlas Cedars"
Some kind of poison is hiding up my sleeves
Don't recall how it got there
I had a long stay up with the Jinn and orchid trees,
I might have lost my head
Buried my clothes in the coriander
Cut out my tongue to correct my grammar
offended all of the grieving mothers
Couldn't contend with the miscreant I was.
You were apostate, just caving in and out of faith
And saving your receipts
But is it so wrong that you cannot find your fatal flaw?
Well it keeps you up all night.
You're wrapped so tight in the Atlas cedars,
You're overdrawn and uncelebrated
Caught up in dreams that you can't remember
Stuck in the day Saint Sophia left you waiting
On a corner with your hands full of thorns.
I found the floor plan to what i once thought had no shape
But I still think it's bullshit
And I found my senses encased in old acanthus leaves,
They're better off without me.
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2. |
Myrrhine
03:53
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"Myrrhine"
We were crawling through the underbrush
Out in South Dakota in the snow
We were searching for a place to hide
When you found a dying bird
And we named him after Jesus Christ,
And we told him all the tallest tales,
And we fed him seeds and flower stems,
And resolved to keep him warm
Then he flew away with no regrets
And we watched him as he disappeared
And we sat and tried to sprout some wings,
And ended up falling asleep.
So we set ourselves to work again,
Built a kitchen table with our hands
And we filled it with the highest hopes
And the most unlikely plans
And we emptied out the dusty jars
And an aging pail of yellow paint,
Turned the ashes of our loved ones
Into art before our eyes
And we carved their figures out of soap,
Every detail was exactly right
And they were beautiful to me and you,
But they couldn't speak a word.
You were scared that we'd wasted all that love
But it was more than we could ever get rid of
We kept our word, never turned back to see the graves
It was better way, couldn't tell the difference.
We drew a bird on the wall and named him after us,
And he stayed by our side and never flew away.
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3. |
A Chain
03:27
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"A Chain"
We rose from the soil in filthy clothes,
Just to give each other names we didn't want
A door that you never saw before,
A fading portrait losing colors constantly
A stone that you carried all alone,
A parasitic anchor or a termite-ridden oar.
And I finally realized what it's worth,
But I'm just not sure of which is worse
Is this a blessing or a curse?
Today we said what we had to say,
So you could run for centuries
And I might follow suit
It's true, a garment of royal blue
A flame between your fingers
And an oil lamp that dimmed
And tied to your ankle was a chain,
Meant to absolve and not detain
But i never had too much to gain.
The thorn in your side,
I wish it was mine
And you never died.
My friend, I will never apprehend
A reminiscent flower
And a seven hour drive
We swore that there would be nothing more,
But I could use an answer
And I'm sure that you could too.
And I finally realized what it's worth,
But I'm just not sure of which is worse
Is this a blessing or a curse?
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4. |
Already Spent
02:12
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"Already Spent"
I collected the years in a basket
In the hope they might cover my head
When you came home to see them
I guess they were already spent.
All our colors were caught in the tree rings
You were shaking your head at the ground
I keep feeling like I was the reason
They never were found
And you should've seen that racing relief
Pushing its claws into what I believed,
Turning out precious stones I couldn't keep
Just to retreat and be gone from me.
In a storage yard stood like a statue
I've been counting the symbols all day
It seemed strange that you left,
But I guess you were written that way
I surrendered myself to your footprints
Wasn't sure if I'd followed them right
Over time as the soil grew soft
I was losing my sight
I figured I might.
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5. |
There Is No Prize
03:55
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"There Is No Prize"
There is no scope
There is no lens
But what will be scratched by the end
There is no flame
There is no torch
But what can be lit and destroyed
And reborn
So what is flesh?
What is skin,
But that which you're imprisoned in?
There is no prize,
No purse of gold
But what will be gambled away when you're old.
I unwrapped the trenchant truth
And folded away my youth,
Now nothing more than change
Held onto just in case
There are no gods,
No sacred ghosts
But those who had purchased their posts
There is no leaf,
No patch of grass
But that which is withering fast
So what is grace?
What is beauty
But that which some day will die?
For me at least?
"Next year is almost here,"
Is that how you fed your fear?
Haven't you grown a bit?
Aren't you past that shit?
It is a sin
It's such a shame
That it's so damn easy to be afraid
'Cause you are pure
And you are brave,
But you were a hell of a mess to create.
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6. |
Long Sleeves
04:55
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"Long Sleeves"
A soul in uniform is all I had been
Since the passing of that glow against the wall
That had grown from you.
But still I feel the same,
Though I've lost a bit of weight from all those dressings that I shed
I thought they'd sworn to stay in place.
But I've kept a steady peace between my days,
Though they're stretching out like flames in a restless rage
And the fleeting, selfish thoughts that drew us gray
Are cradling the coals.
What could i do?
You'd left your straining heart in a mud-brick mausoleum
You were grateful for the sight,
But couldn't keep it in your mind
But I steered my way through all that stilted speech,
A thicket patch of verbs and spines and seeds
That fell into a beard of knotted leaves,
Virescent on my jaw
What can i do?
The second that you fled yourself
I knew I was someone else
Staring at that flame you'd lit,
A Calvary between your ribs
Now with all that fever gone,
We're sleeping with our long sleeves on
And hoping for a healthy dawn
To place our aching heads upon.
That masonry you'd lain,
It was not enough to keep you from your pain.
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7. |
Washington State
02:49
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"Washington State"
So I could just lay here
And watch your skin turn into salt
And breathe deep in relief
As you start to evaporate.
And I too will dry out
And thin until I am no more,
Just as God intended
And we will meet beneath the tongues of flame
Called by our Hebrew names.
The white wind, your black lungs
A mass of gray inside your chest
A simple equation
To somehow set your head straight
A red box with ribbons
To house all of our troubles
A weak knee, an earthquake
The fact that I could never come out clean
At least that's how it seemed.
So I'll pretend to understand,
While you bury me in sand
And build your house upon the shaking patch of earth
So I've been giving it a chance
With my head between my hands
But it's just too much to know that you're happier alone.
A contract
A constant
A phrase that will not leave my mouth
The Garden of Eden
Hung up around your shoulder
So I could have waited out on an empty threshing floor
And quoted the Gospels
I guess it's better that I did not try
I just don't know why.
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8. |
Turquoise Mines
04:44
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"Turquoise Mines"
Factory, just go ahead and swallow me
It's not the way I'd planned to see
My old age creeping in.
Life is safe, as long as you assume a shape
That measures rationally
And fits in with the rest.
But I'm racing my flaws
Toward some end they'd drawn
I hope they mapped it out wrong
'Cause I'm already gone.
Blackbeard's Lord,
Well I think He sounds a lot like yours
But maybe there's a hundred more,
And they only share a name
And a laugh.
But I took my time
To figure out it was not mine
Through twenty years of turquoise mines
I'd forgotten my way back
I've been sorting trash,
And holding it against my past
But really I could cut this cast
'Cause God knows that I've healed underneath.
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9. |
Royal Asiatic Society
03:52
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"Royal Asiatic Society"
I've stood before this image of you
In a church that they condemned before they knew
With that illusion I wish I could hold,
A rosette we drenched in meaning and then sold
Now you're wearing out from within
While the pastel shades of martyrdom
Are creeping through your skin
I think it's all we know,
A seed that does not grow
Could be it just got got buried in the snow.
But that's no way to live,
With nothing left to give
Just reading from a script
Where was that truce we'd made with the sea
When all seven hills of Rome
Dared to conspire against our feet?
To all your antique gods,
Take all the tolls you want
The other side of this bridge is all we've got
But in case we don't get far
Or never even start
I've been praying for your heart,
Though i don't know who you are.
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10. |
From A Silver Till
05:14
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"From A Silver Till"
With your new capricious home to keep you company
You're drifting from my sight.
You were caught in the gears,
So you bought into all of what you once feared.
We left our jobs and turned to carving porcelain
Built a faucet, that was all.
But you brought it back with you
To remind you that there's hope in what you can't do.
I swore I saw the Virgin glimmer in the ground,
Through the gypsum underneath
So I dug through the beds,
And wore away my fingers in the process.
Could you see I was a forgery?
Is that why you strained me out
And put the good parts in the ground?
And every empty honor
That I clung to as my own
Was calling you its home,
I just want to be your home
But all the conflagrations
That argued us to sleep
Were somehow not as steep
As what you wanted us to be
When all our stonewashed anger left us in that car,
The temperature changed
And we could not relate
So we traded for a sadness we could translate.
You were named after a shipwreck,
And that's all you ever knew
But the same old wind that left you cold
Was leaving me, too.
I've been breaking into foundries
In the middle of the night,
Just to see if I could build something to keep you upright.
I was telling lies to give myself a little time
And you were calling through the cracks that I was right.
Must have been something that you said
That put that vision in my head,
But now I'm coming home to all my new regrets.
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11. |
Mont Ventoux
03:45
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"Mont Ventoux"
I threw all my pride into a hornet's nest
While you were asleep
Amid all the drums
Feigning to celebrate some kind of end to the world.
But me and my memory,
We wear each other out
Staying up late
And tearing the tags from all of those bright ideas
I'd like to believe were my own.
But casting my words, florid and overgrown
In place of myself
I kicked in the door and lost all your sympathy
I guess that's the way that it goes.
But sometimes we climb, aimless as vines
Just to see what we've missed
As if this half empty house
Could fill with the sounds
Of the places we've been.
We measured our love over a yawning grave,
It wasn't quite fair
But that was the day that you most resembled me,
Stoic and fearful.
If age draws us apart, I hope that we'd both pretend
Just for a while.
'Cause all of those lies could add up to honesty
And save us a whole lot of time.
And sometimes we starve,
Just to get far from a suitable truth
As if each piece of our souls
Could flower, then fold,
And become something new.
But you didn't even try.
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12. |
Sawmill
04:41
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"Sawmill"
While there is no place
Profane and justified to hold us
Or keep us home
Some greener garden,
A dusty pyramid of red stone
A broken throne
If you had told me
That you would never reach the surface,
I'd know you're wrong.
And we fall hard
Against the thought of pulling into parts
So what was our garden really worth,
When pretty soon it ll goes back to dirt?
Or so I've heard.
I thought I saw you,
A heavy heart inside a sawmill
Covered in dust
You're splitting wood beams
To build a coffin for your love
While I sat and watched
You finally filled it
And placed it in a tomb of concrete,
And sealed it shut.
And you were staring at my palms,
And wondering how I ever kept so calm
And as we grew like fire in the brush,
I knew we'd live in everything we'd touched
We saw the mountains changing shades
Into colors that we never saw before
What once was blue and green,
And meant so much to me
Didn't make it through the war,
And now's now more.
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